beautybeautybeauty

I had a good day simply because:
1. the weather is GORGEOUS.

go outside. you won't regret it, i promise.

love,
lor

my blue eyes are full of hot, wet tears.

My take
i can't sleep. my eyes are puffy and red and they hurt. I feel alone. I don't know what to do. i can't concentrate on one single thing. My head hurts. My dog is of no comfort. Life seems like a mess. People suck. They are mean and want to build themselves up, even if that means making someone else cry their eyes out. I don't want people to get to me, i want to overcome!... but i don't have the strenghth. I miss my old life. The life i led when i was young and happy. FML is NOT an option. I have to pick myself up.


QUESTIONS: What's making me sad?
1. Last week was spring break and tomorrow i have to go back to school.
2. A bitch at school decided to send me a message telling me how she felt when i have been nothing but nice to her. I'm upset with myself for letting her get to me.
3. I miss my sister and brother. They are my world and i'm nowhere near them.
4. Addictions. They are chains, and i am only a victim wanting freedom.
5. I want to be closer to God.
6. My eyes seriously really hurt.


REPLYS
Give me stories about times where you've felt something similiar to my babblings. Let's help eachother out.

ADVICE
IN FACT: Here are some ways to make yourself feel better:
1. Breathe. Seriously. deep breaths- they make your heart slow down which causes your mind to think clearer.
2.Hot bath. Soothing and an immediate relaxant.
3. Don't wait. Don't wait to deal with your problems. They will come back to haunt you sooner or later. Sooner is better, trust me friend.
4. Journal. Even if it's a simple: I hate. life. is awful. help me. julie. bitch. suck. i can't believe."
even if you don't make sense, getting your thoughts organized makes things seem easier and it's a quicker way to find the solution.
5. Shoulder. Find a shoulder to cry on. It adds more tears when you think of the fact that your sitting there crying alone. You should find that one reliable person who you can call in the middle of the night, sobbing.
6. Be positive. Avoid sayings like "My life is over." Try: "I'm going to get through this." along with the deep breaths. You start to believe yourself.

Hang in there.

love,
lor

It's been awhile...

...since i wrote on my blog. I'm pretty convinced that noone reads them or pays any attention to them. But perhaps on some whim, someone out there is a tad bit interested in me and my life. I've changed since the last post. My eyelids have been peeled back and exposed my eyes even further than they had been exposed before. I'm learning so much. And you know what? I enjoy it. I discovered that i actually ADORE learning new things. Even if it involves studying for a huge test and murdering a lot of tree's to make notecards. I mean, not only are you 10 times more intelligent, but you have an A on a test. How great is that feeling? the feeling of getting an A? Okay, hold up, wait a minute; i really hate grades. They are stressful and awful. but completely a necessary means of motivation. It's a love/hate relationship. You get me?

On a new note i spent last night with a dear old friend that i hadn't seen in quite a while. We laughed and reminissed and had deep conversation which is good for my soul. I remember a year or so ago i was messed up and in a rut and she was always the one who was on her feet and knew what she was about. It's like a complete 180. She's fallen backwards and i'm right side up. (not completely, but i'm on the right track). I really do look back on my tough experiences and thank God for them because through them i can really see other people's perspective's and help them along the right road. It felt very refreshing talking about life struggles and faith....

Which leads me to the ending of this post... next time i would like to explore faith and how that connects with my life and even yours. I'm very open to your opinions and i'd like to know certain topics that are important to you and that you want to discuss. This is a very open blog of discovering yourself together.

until then, keep sane!
love,
Lor

"in this confidence of security, just waiting to be heard..."

hey there,
i know that seems lame for a greeting, your probably thinking i'm an old bat sitting behind my pc with cats and.....er cabbage? or maybe a stud in your area? hah whatever or whoever you think i am is going to be a total mystery. An adventure if you will, (and i hope you will) for you and for me. For me, remaining unknown to be whoever i want to be... which is me. my complete rants and ramblings 100% lor. So let's get our walking sticks and start up this mountain together shall we? great, this should be fun.

love always,
lor; your new and most loyal friend.